Smiles and miles are back in fashion

My neuroses had crept up on me and I quit – yep full on, last Thursday, just upped and quit – 7 miles into a 10 mile run. Never ever had I done that before and it wasn’t even hurting – my head just quit – a bit like the ex-smoker who just reaches out for one cigarette and knows there and then that it’s over.

I hate quitting – really loathe it and I am not sure I ever have in my personal life. I’ve failed loads of times and I am planning to fail some more – but bailing out, quitting – I like to think it’s not in my nature but it was there – clear as day – “You big , no good, lardass precious petal quitter”.
I know what you thinking - “grow up you big wuss – it’s a bloomin run” and you’re probably right but it matters.

It matters because on a good day the feeling is – well it’s like those immediate post coital moments - but on Thursday it was just utter deflation – like the first time you ever got dumped and realised that maybe James Bond you weren’t.

Ok – I hear you, enough of the self absorbed introspective bullshit. I’m trying, I promise - today I just ran. No tempo, no pre-run nutrition , no make yourself look like a wassock dynamic warm-up and no fucking fartleg (don’t worry if you don’t know what that is – take it from me it’s properly rubbish and hard work) - I just ran with a smile on my face and it worked. I was bloody slow as always, it hurt a bit and I can feel the old knee pain a tad but it worked because I enjoyed it – loved it in fact. Fuck me, I even nodded a “Hello” at Mr Cyclist today – as opposed to the jolly green giant on two wheels tosser who got a very curt “fuck off you prick” last Thursday as he wheeled his way through another red light and nearly into my nether regions – why do they do that?

Sorry, I digress – I was smiling - no really I was. But honestly a red light is a red light isn’t it? I have never yet seen a sign that says “RED, STOP – except if you are dressed up like Captain fucking Kirk”. Sorry, smiling, smiling, yes ..... happy run smiling.

Gotta say that I'm relieved – it all got a bit serious there for a while – a bit like life – what’s the point if we don’t enjoy it, right? Most of the people I know have choice – many of people on the planet don’t, so I figure we need to choose fun - we need to choose to enjoy it because ..... We can. Whatever it happens to be. I have lots of its and they’re not all that simple I guess but the running it – I’ve got that one down now - It’s just running and it’s fun again. Morning Captain.