Jungle Eejit

I heard it with my own ears from my own lips “Yeah, let’s do it – when do we sign up?” And then the high pitched voice of reason, that for some reason always abuses me in a Dublin accent - must be my Irish protestant guilt complex kicking in - screamed “Wha – are ye some kind of fecking eejit – wise up man – you’re nearly forty, can hardly fecking walk without wincing and what’s worse – you’re Irish, man – catch yersel on and stop all this feckin craziness right now” – He’s got a mouth like a cesspit that Dubber alter ego of mine!

Jungle marathon 2010 - 200kms over 7 days in 90% humidity in the Amazon jungle. Sounds fun – right? I mean the Padraig Harrington heckler in my head has a point. I am indeed Irish and it is a well known fact that we melt in anything over 20 degrees (68 for those of you of a Fahrenheit persuasion) and at 18 or above we hit the beach in the budgie smugglers with the whole family – but you see we still only go to the beach about twice a year. Just look at the TV forecast and choose your month, “London is experiencing an unseasonably warm October with temperatures hitting 21 degrees today” – all around the Emerald isle families scrabble for their swimming togs, children are yanked out of school, the beach sprint is on and then the screen moves up north and “In Belfast after a wet start, the day brightens for a fresh autumnal high of 6 degrees!”. July “it’s the hottest day of the year in Belfast today with highs of 20 degrees and................. mostly wet with dry spells”. Fuck it – we’re fucking Irish! And sure doesn’t the sun do bad things to your skin n all.

So you see heat and humidity are not exactly the natural habitat of us Irish but how hard can it be? 200kms over 7 days is barely 30kms a day – I know three people dropped out on the first leg of 16kms last year and you have to carry your own food and hammock but seriously....

Well then I suppose you could mention the creepy crawlies and mossies – and I could talk about 59 counted bites on my shins alone in Australia on one night in 1999 but that was just unlucky. I am generally at one with nature as anyone who has seen me screaming like a demented six year old girl and jumping on a kitchen table at the sight of a mouse will no doubt attest!

No, no the weather and nature will be fine – I mean I climbed a fecking mountain last year at 5895 metres I’ll have you know – OK, so I know it was cold and altitude and creepies can’t live above 3000 metres but still it’s kind of similar.
What else could stop me – well there’s the fact that I have never run more than 17 miles in one hit and my longest race is a half marathon. A wee bit of training though and 87kms straight on day6 of the jungle marathon should be do-able, N’est pas? The phsyio says that my hip lesion, labral tear and current ITB and “fat pad” problems won’t necessarily stop me.

“Necessfeckingsarily - you feckin halfwit” – yes, yes – I hear you - be off and leave me to be happy in my own mind. I could well be that I am indeed a fecking eejit but come on with all those cards stacked in my favour how can I say no?